6. “The margaritas are so strong!”
Super-strong margaritas can be a warning that Mexican food isn’t great; if you’re drunk off your ass courtesy of moonshine-level booze, you’re less likely to care about the oily, broken-tortilla enchiladas you paid $12 to eat.
5. “The fajitas needed more seasoning…”
Fajitas, especially the beef skirt type, are typically cooked with a seasoning made with onion, garlic, salt, pepper, and other ingredients that can include cumin, chili powder, paprika, and cayenne pepper. If a review—especially one written by a non-Latino—suggests the fajitas are underseasoned, you know it’s gonna be Bland City. Population: Sad Meats.
4. “My tamale was delicious!”
A batch of these is called “Tamales.” A single one is a “Tamal,” not a “Tamale.” Don’t trust a review that makes this mistake. They probably ate the damn corn husk.
3. “Great Cinco de Mayo specials!”
Cinco de Mayo is the greatest marketing scam ever pulled. It’s not Mexican Independence Day; lots of Mexican-Americans don’t even celebrate it. Yet it took off as a way to get White people to put on dumb tiny sombreros and get blasted, not unlike the green beer bacchanal of St. Patrick’s Day. Sure, Mexican restaurant owners will indulge in this not-much-of-a-holiday, but it’s not the indicator of a great restaurant or good food.
2. “Located in a nice area…”
If you’re not willing to travel to an area where the restaurant or food truck has bars on the windows, you just don’t want great tacos badly enough.
1. “This restaurant is so authentic.”
Authentic to whom? An overused word found in Yelp reviews that usually means the author remembers some food they ate during Spring Break in Cancun.
Peter A. Berry