7. The Anti Drug Rehab Slogan
Speaking with Power 105.1’s The Breakfast Club in 2018, Kevin Gates explained why you’d never catch him in a drug rehabilitation program: “I always felt like rehab was for quitters.” The price is on the can, though.
6. Not Everyone Can Come
Specifically men. In a 2022 sit down with Yung Miami, Gates parrots semen retention philosophy that can be found both in ancient texts and on red-pill Reddit boards. “Your intention should be to please your partner,” he said. “And don’t release no semen.” Okay.
5. Cuck Around and Find Out
Look: As a society, we’ve made great strides in moving beyond conventional relationship archetypes and kink shaming. Do what works for you. In an interview with DJ Akademiks, Gates claimed to be open to an open relationship with a woman. But there’s one condition: She’d have to record any extramarital exploits. And play it back for him. (“She my favorite porn star,” he said.) Mario Winans could never.
4. Putting the D in Dermatology
Gates trended on Twitter this week for his very scientific theory about the positive correlation between a woman’s pimples and her sexual prowess. “’Cause they hormones are so imbalanced that it cause them to have congestion,” he explained to The Breakfast Club, prompting more questions than answers. “So they not releasing properly. See, once I really put it on her, her face start clearing up.” (No, he’s not talking about Noxzema.)
3. Impure Thoughts About Beyoncé
I will not repeat them. But I’ll leave you with one word: urophilia. The thirst is real.
2. This Sexual Request Is a Doggone Shame
Snoop Doggy Dogg’s “Ain’t No Fun (If the Homies Can’t Have None)”—but make it beastiality. If Gates is to be believed, the rapper once kicked a woman out of his crib because she refused to go down on his pooch. You think he double-dog dared her?
1. Keeping It in the Family
Many of us grew up with play cousins—friends who were around so damn much they were considered part of the fam. According to Gates, a woman with whom he once had a two-year sexual relationship is definitely not that; he’d unknowingly been engaging with a different kind of “play” with a biological cousin. Once they discovered the family ties, they figured what the hell and kept things going. Why he’s felt the need to repeat that story multiple times over the years? Because he’s Kevin damn Gates, and TMI is what he does.
Omar L. Gallaga