“If I Get Caught,” the latest single from dvsn—the Canadian duo composed of singer Daniel Daley and producer Nineteen85—is a mix of hilarious and horrible.
Produced alongside Jermaine Dupri and Bryan-Michael Cox, the song samples Jay-Z’s line “I was just fuckin’ them girls, I was gon’ get right back” from “Song Cry.” I usually like dvsn whenever they appear on those playlists Spotify’s algorithm makes for me, but this song is deeply unserious. I mean that in terms of conception, lyrics, and production.
It’s corny and boring. It don't slap.
Like, you immediately know it’s about to be some bullshit when Daley sings: “You wouldn’t want me if you thought I never had hoes/Women like men other women like/That’s just something that everyone know.”
And then there is the chorus themed around infidelity not being a reason to end a relationship:
If I get caught cheating, that don’t mean I don’t lovе you
If I get caught cheating (Chеating), that don’t mean I don’t love you
I know, I know you won’t let one little fuck (One little fuck)
It’s a barbershop conversation and a Twitter relationship debate wrapped together as a silly song with a bad hook. Or like a Kevin Samuels video turned into a musical. I expect better material from my Canadian vibe purveyors—even in their songs about being toxic. This is not “Hallucinations” or “Think About Me.”
If you want to be toxic in life and in your music, have at it, but the hook is a weird chant, the sample is wasted, and, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of the men involved in this are near or well over 40.
Based on what I’ve read, dvsn obviously believe they have something to say. Speaking to Rolling Stone last year, Daley said, “I think that we always have a certain amount of honesty that we always want to keep with the records, and not worrying about what the politically correct way to say something is, and just saying it as real as we feel it.”
They likely feel this way about this new song since they’re beating their chests about it.
“What’s said in this has never been said like this but we felt it needed to be,” the duo wrote on Instagram, alongside a clip of the video.
Let them tell it, it’s “The anthem we all needed.”
To help promote the single, dvsn hosted a discussion about “open monogamy” with sex therapist Dr. Tammy Nelson and Nick Cannon, best known these days for having multiple children with multiple partners.
Cannon has the right to his lifestyle choices, but this is ridiculous. Why are we having Ted Talks and panels about fucking around?
I don’t understand how anyone left the studio thinking this was worth releasing to the public.
I’m impressed that the sample was even cleared, but that’s probably thanks to Jermaine Dupri, who has since responded to boos and hisses of the single on Twitter.
In response to y’all’s complaints, JD tweeted: “The people I see with something bad to say about ‘If I Get Caught’ I’m sure have never listened to blues and if you never listened to blues.then you’re musically blind in my book and you can’t see what we did”
The people I see with something bad to say about “If I Get Caught” I’m sure have never listened to blues and if you never listened to blues.then you’re musically blind in my book and you can’t see what we did
— Jermaine Dupri (@jermainedupri) July 23, 2022
To quote one of my favorite followers responding to this tweet: “The song was literally ASS, Jermaine.”
JD is a legend, but even legends make mistakes. He must know this because for every hit he helped create for Mariah Carey and Usher, there is the material he produced for Janet Jackson. (Please forgive me, Janet.)
I find it very difficult for anyone to be pretentious in defense of a basic-ass song about infidelity. B.B. King has the hits, but you don’t need a blues session to understand that the song is a meme desperately trying to be a faux controversial hit. If you want to be toxic in life and in your music, have at it, but the hook is a weird chant, the sample is wasted, and hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all of the men involved in this are near or well over 40.
When you are in that age demo, you should be able to come up with better material. When you can’t, admit your faults.
Or at least leave B.B. King out of it.