I will miss my home state governor, Ron DeSantis, out on the campaign trail in South Carolina, New Hampshire, and wherever fate may have taken him. Not only did his doomed run for the Republican nomination keep him from doing more harm in Florida. Other parts of the nation got to meet him and discovered they weren’t really into him.
Ron DeSantis suspended his campaign before the votes were cast in the New Hampshire primary to avoid another embarrassing loss to Donald Trump and likely Nikki Haley. Then, he could have been humiliated again in South Carolina. My perfect scenario would have been for him to end his campaign after a Super Tuesday drubbing, adding to his reputation as a laughing stock.
The bad news is that DeSantis is back in Florida, bruised and battered but not beaten. He has three years left as Florida’s governor, where he can continue eroding the rights of our citizens, banning books that now include dictionaries and encyclopedias, suppressing votes, and erasing the parts of Black History that don’t feel good.
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I feel the need to be fair in that Florida schools cover a wide range of topics regarding Black History, but we get the sanitized version. Florida doesn’t call the dramatic number of slave births the product of forced breeding and rape. They prefer the term “natural reproduction.” Florida spends an excessive amount of time talking about abolitionists. It leaves out brutal tales like that of the Groveland Four that we know DeSantis is aware of because one of his first acts as governor was related to them.
No doubt DeSantis will continue his war on woke, eliminating DEI and affirmative action and curtailing the LGBTQ community in any way possible. His private army may continue patrolling Texas borders while his election police will target Black people while ignoring The Villages. Floridians will take the hit with DeSantis coming home and dealing with our petty dictator, so America doesn’t have to.
DeSantis will no doubt try to rise from the ashes of his failed campaign in 2028. Hopefully, his donors will remember then how much money they threw away supporting him and go in a new direction.
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On his way out the door, DeSantis supported Trump for fear of further alienating Trump voters. Too late, Ron; they know who you are, as do the rest of us. I will be losing a regular topic to write about as I try to disparage his reputation regularly. That started when he floated a plan for all bloggers who mention his name to register with the State of Florida and submit monthly reports of any monetary contributors. Suppose you are a paid subscriber to Medium and are reading this. I was supposed to name you.
I want to thank DeSantis for providing a regular example of what democracy isn’t. I’m already tall and don’t need to know where he gets his high heels. If it’s not too much trouble, maybe you could direct some energy into dealing with Florida’s property insurance rates, malaria, and the unconstitutional measures you passed that the courts are taking apart. It’s probably too much to hope for that you spend your final three years in office, silent and sulking. You’re term-limited from becoming governor again, so there’s that. I didn’t want your departure from the presidential race to go unnoticed. Letting you know we noticed.
This post originally appeared on Medium and is edited and republished with author's permission. Read more of William Spivey's work on Medium. And if you dig his words, buy the man a coffee.