Jamelle Bouie of the New York Times wrote an article about the ethicless Supreme Court, which throughout history has protected rich white men and businesses while having “occasional bouts of decency,” like Brown v. Board of Education that outlawed segregation. For every Brown v. Board, there was a Dred Scott v. Sanford or Plessy v. Ferguson. Bouie wrote particularly about Clarence Thomas, who parlayed his contact with a wealthy Republican donor he met after joining the court into luxurious vacations and private jet rides.
We’ve often heard we should never judge someone by their worst act. I believe the people who have done the worst things never judge themselves by their most heinous acts but by their occasional good deeds, spending no time looking back at people they’ve hurt and their ruined lives. I suspect Clarence Thomas has no trouble sleeping at night; Thomas may think of himself as an excellent father to his son Jamal from his first wife, Kathy Ambush. He likely blocks out his affair with Lillian McEwen, who describes Thomas in her memoir as having a porn addiction; Lillian had these thoughts about what he was like when they met.
“He might have been a raving alcoholic who used pornography to help fulfill sexual fantasies but then gave up drinking and transformed into an angry, obsessive man who bullied his son,” she said.
She further expounded in 2010 on what fuels him now and his ultra-right-wing rulings.
“His enemies are people who are active in civil rights, professors who have criticized him and anybody who disagrees with the conservative friends that he has such as Rush Limbaugh.”
Maybe Thomas wasn’t a great husband or father, but he has become a good grandfather. The point is that Clarence Thomas likely views himself as a good person despite the public criticism because of what he views as his bouts of decency which wipe out the rest.
Does Stephen Miller toss and turn after separating families of brown asylum seekers and putting children in cages? It’s doubtful. Miller likely thinks of himself as brave, standing up for the causes he believes in, whether it be the criticisms of his California high school where he felt Osama Bin Laden would have been welcome and where they didn’t recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Stephen might be proud that a second-generation American whose mother was an immigrant reached the inner circle of the Oval Office, even if he got there stepping on the backs of other immigrants.
Bernie Madoff destroyed the lives and retirements of thousands of individuals, running a Ponzi scheme on those who trusted him. He likely thought himself a family man and a good provider. His sons may not have felt the same, helping to bring him down when his scheme was uncovered. One son, Mark, committed suicide in 2010, and his brother, Peter, went to jail for nine years. His grandchildren changed their names and weren’t allowed to see him. Madoff wrote handwritten notes from prison to his grandchildren in hopes they would be reconciled one day. Bernie died in jail in 2021, likely with regrets but still thinking himself fundamentally good.
Former Trump attorney Michael Cohen was scum. During the twelve years he spent as Donald Trump’s “fixer,” he committed all manner of sins without regard to the damage he did to others. Since he went to prison for the man, he once said he’d “take a bullet for.” Cohen has gotten religion, now on his revenge tour, demanding Trump face accountability for his deeds. Cohen partially agreed to his sentence to protect his wife from criminal charges, which is worthy of mention. He has lied to Congress, the grand jury, the public, and his family. He always tells us how he’s been redeemed, and since he left prison, he’s only told the truth. Is Michael a good person? Probably not, but I’ll bet he thinks so.
Incredible as it may seem, Donald Trump probably views himself as a good person, even if you subtract the things he says about himself we know aren’t true. Trump doesn’t worry about the officers beaten and injured or those who died in the aftermath of his actions on January 6th, 2020. He’s not concerned that he cheated on all his wives; he’s under indictment for trying to cover up one affair with a porn star while his third wife was still home with their four-month-old son. I doubt any of Trump’s wives, including the current one, view him as a good husband. But who knows how far Trump’s capacity to delude himself extends. Is he a good father? One often judges a parent by their fruits. Let’s say there is still hope for Barron. When Trump is alone in his separate bedroom, he undoubtedly thinks himself a good man, though finding someone else who agrees with him may be difficult.
Because bad people don’t think of themselves as bad, and any time the rest of us spend insisting they feel remorse is wasted. Our time is better spent on things we can accomplish, including justice, getting restitution, and maybe even an apology, though chances are it will be fake. They might even feel bad about their circumstances without regretting their actions. People get upset about getting caught, not who they are.
Let’s teach our children to consider how others view them and why. That doesn’t mean others are always right, but a little reflection might lead people to make better decisions and do less damage to others. If we only saw ourselves at our worst, the likely result would be depression and resentment of others. Seeing oneself as only our best self while ignoring the rest can also be harmful. How about if we live our best lives, recognize our mistakes, acknowledge them, and seek atonement? Never apologizing may work for the short term, but it isn’t a good life strategy. Ethics don’t have to be situational; they can be who you are. Let’s all give it a try.