5. X-Men (2000)
This was the pinnacle of comic book movies upon its release, yet the Marvel flicks that have dropped in its wake have shown the genre’s true upper limits. In contrast (and in hindsight), this Fox production doesn’t hold up, for reasons including but not limited to Storm’s cheesy send-off for Toad.
4. X-Men: First Class (2011)
This is one of the most beloved X-Men movies of the entire series, but we just can’t get over one scene. You know the one: That moment when Kevin Bacon explained racism to Darwin, a BLACK MAN LIVING DURING THE ’60s. Then the bad guys killed Darwin even though his mutant powers should have basically deemed him invincible. This was a mutant turd in the punchbowl.
3. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
Close your eyes. Quick, try to remember anything about this movie. You remember the “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” meme-nod and that’s literally it, right? Consider yourself lucky. This movie stunk. Also, Mystique gentrifying the Black power movement never quite sat right. A pox on this movie.
2. X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
Find someone who loves you as much as the X-Men movie franchise loves casting a light-skinned woman as Storm. This film exists for no reason other than to piss us off. Even if it ended up being the greatest cinematic achievement of our lifetimes, it would still have a shadow cast over it that not even light-skinned Ororo Munroe could make disappear.
1. Dark Phoenix (2019)
This hasn’t aged that poorly because it was dookie from the moment it came out. So technically, it aged the best because it maintained its same level of poopiness throughout. That’s consistency, baby! (But it’s still the worst movie on this list… by far.)
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