6. Birdie
The British punk brawler started off life as a (nonplayable) White dude in the original Street Fighter, but later chalked up his pale skin to having been sick — because, in the spinoff Alpha series, he’s been a cockney-accent-having bruv partial to headbutts and chain attacks. But since we can’t have nice things, Street Fighter V then turned him into an obese Caucasian who eats during fights. What part of the game is that?
5. Sean Matsuda
Okay, so lil homie has a Japanese father and his Brazilian mom is light-skinned — but between his locs and his skin, it’s all too clear that Ken’s biggest fan is Afro-Latinx. (And considering how the ops in Brazil feel about natural hair, he’s gonna need that Shoryuken to be on point.)
4. Dudley
No shots, but Street Fighter’s wealthy British gentleman might be the uncanniest character in the whole damn franchise. Blue eyes, a conk, and a handlebar mustache? What, did Shaun King start working out?
3. Balrog
Known in Japan as “Mike Bison” — no, really — the American boxer was the first playable Black character in the series, dating all the way back to 1991’s Street Fighter II. He’s also the most offensive one, presented for far too long as greedy and unintelligent. He’s no longer quite the caricature that the Japanese game birthed, but he’s still cringingly awful despite being good at what he does. Wait a second: talented but awful? Sounds like someone’s gonna be tweeting about a presidential run soon!
2. Elena
Born in Kenya to tribal royalty. White hair. A force of nature. We’re not saying she’s a fighting-game ripoff of Storm, we’re just saying SHE’S A FIGHTING-GAME RIPOFF OF STORM. Still gotta rep for the motherland, though!
1. Dee Jay
Yardman business, seen? The game’s only Jamaican character is also one of its most likable. While he might have been inspired by Tae Bo peddler Billy Blanks — for real — he also lists in his official dislikes “people who lack rhythm.” Same, man. Same.