7. Tabasco
It’s thin, it’s kinda boring, and it doesn’t really add much in the way of taste or heat — but it’s a goddamn institution, word to Bey’s (and Hillary’s) handbag.
6. Huy Fong Sriracha
At a third the power of a jalapeno pepper, this spin on a Thai staple is a hot sauce in name only — but you can’t deny the sweet-chili combo, especially on Southeastern Asian cuisines. Extra credit for the squeeze bottle!
5. Crystal
What Tabasco wants to be. Made from the far-superior cayenne peppers, Louisiana Pure’s flagship sauce is a hallowed Southern tradition — and an upgrade for just about anything you’re eating.
4. El Yucateco Green Habanero
We could’ve made a list entirely of green sauces, but y’all aren’t ready for that. Instead, get familiar with this bright-green gem, the hottest (and, quiet as kept, most delicious) condiment on this list. Not quite as versatile as the Top 3, but once you try it you’ll wonder what took you so long.
3. Tapatío
Middle-of-the-road heat with a deep, almost smoky flavor that complements everything from eggs to pizza — plus the ultra-rare Freddie Gibbs seal of approval. What, you’re gonna disagree with Gary, Indiana’s finest?
2. Frank’s RedHot
Made from cayenne like Crystal, just thicker, and with a garlic kick that elevates things to a whole other level. It’s the base of buffalo sauce, but on its own, it does more than enough to earn its longtime tagline: “Put that **** on everything.”
1. Cholula
Straight outta Jalisco, Mexico, it’s the undisputed G.O.A.T. (but not the cabrón). Not too hot, not too mild, and with a taste unlike anything else on the menu — thank the arbol and piquin peppers — this is the one you buy in the big bottle.
Read more: The 5 Most Triflin’-Ass Scammers, Ranked