9. Fruit Punch (Tutifruti)
Weird aftertaste. Not especially fruity. Red trash, basically.
8. Lime (Limón)
Despite the bright color, this one tastes like an off-brand Sprite — one lacking the bite or flavor of the original. In other words, it likely wouldn’t inspire Drake to so thoroughly quench his thirst that it causes his body to momentarily deconstruct like a cyborg.
7. Hibiscus (Jamaica)
A great choice for those without a sweet tooth — but you may feel like you’re drinking carbonated herbal tea. Not for everyone, mon.
6. Strawberry (Fresa)
Better than Fruit Punch, but not quite up to Big Red in the redpop canon. You probably wouldn’t throw it out of a Zoom meeting, but you’d leave it on mute.
5. Tamarind (Tamarindo)
You’ll either appreciate its subtle, leguminous goodness, or you’ll think it tastes like dirt. No in-between.
4. Mango (Mango)
Want a syrupy treat that’s liable to give you instant diabeetus, word (and rest in power) to Wilford Brimley? I’ve got just the thing for you! The least subtle of all the fruit sodas, this is the Will Ferrell of Jarritos flavors.
3. Mandarin (Mandarina)
This solid citrus choice tastes lighter — and better — than Orange Crush and Fanta. Dude from Kenan & Kel would lose his shit if he got his hands on a bottle of this stuff.
2. Grapefruit (Toronja)
Surprisingly not gross, this beverage balances the tartness of the fruit with enough sweetener to send your blood sugar spiking like snorting a line of Pixy Stix. It’s no Ting, but what is?
1. Pineapple (Piña)
Depending on where you were raised, you’ll likely argue to the death over whether sweet carbonated beverages are called “pop” or “soda.” But there’s no debating the universality of this crowd-pleaser, which most closely recalls its actual fruit counterpart and embodies what Jarritos is all about: fizzy, sugary, fruity summer delight.
*Honorable Mention: Guava (Guayaba), Watermelon, and Passion Fruit
The former has its fans and detractors, but all three of these surely interesting flavors listed on the Jarritos website are difficult to find in places like Texas, where this extremely scientific taste test was conducted.
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